Dear beloved readers,

I come from the good ol’ Starbucks, where for some strange reason, there are three women dressed exactly the same – blue flannel, quarter socks, slides and black yoga pants. The journalist in me is curios about why, but the creative writer in me already decided they are going to a female lumberjack convention only for the democrats or something.

I had an interesting week, a lot of ups and downs, generally speaking more ups than downs. I worked a lot on grad-school projects, even though yesterday, when I had the most subtle and constant cramp my uterus has ever had, while at the same time having a muscle in my shoulder torturing me, and decided to take half the day off and just relax, my brain decided I wasn’t good enough for that. So I twisted and turned on my bed for hours, until night came and I called it a day.

I am constantly reminder by this one professor of mine that our brains are muscles and they don’t need, rather, they don’t want no rest. Our brain want us to be constantly active and creative, it doesn’t need breaks or days off or weekends or hell, even pay leaves. Every time I hear this – which at this point is at least once a week – I think to myself, what a fucking load of crap.

Maybe, if we were to look at our bodies through the biological perspective, this dude would be right. But I am not that person, I am 70% emotions and the rest is water. There is no part of me that wants to analyze my brain through some scientific way that it is supposed to work. This feels very insensitive after we just came from a pandemic that I am sorry, proved that there is such a thing as mentally exhausted. It irks me every time he says that, because my brain surely needs to rest, it surely needs days off, and it for fucking sure gets tired, gets creative blocks, needs a bloody break.

It is funny I am writing this, because I feel like more and more often I see it stamped around social media. But it is in disguise. It reads like “You didn’t wake up today to just be mediocre!”, or “Be the best you can possibly be every day!”, or whatever other motivational crap a white girl Twitter page would post. And just like sometimes my brain needs rest, sometimes I need to be mediocre. Sometimes, I am not going to be able to give one hundred percent on a day, and I will need to settle for less than I can give. That is human! It is a basic need we have, to be able to not go insane, to produce even when we don’t feel like it. Being mediocre is not a bad thing, and surely shouldn’t be shamed on the internet by someone who makes millions posting juice ads and gummy bear hair supplement ads.

Being mediocre has a bad connotation to it, when in reality, we are probably mediocre every day. You know that feeling you get when you do something you love doing really well? And you go “Wow, I haven’t kicked ass like that in a long time!”, yeah, that is because it is physically, humanly, emotionally impossible to be that good at all times, we wouldn’t have those Eureka! moments if we were this way all the time. So in reality, in actuality, we are mediocre every day, only some people like to think they aren’t because well, they have some sort of Elon Musk complex – yes, I am looking at you professor, shut the hell up.

Mediocracy is human, it is showing up and doing the work even when you don’t feel like it, it means to give the best you have and sometimes that won’t be the best you’ve ever done, it will just be mediocre, and it will be more than okay. I am trying to exercise this, besides the literal physical, weekly presence telling me I shouldn’t, because honestly, I haven’t had a break since last summer, and I have been working my ass off everyday like never before, and sometimes, I need a fucking break.

When I stop to listen to my body, I believe even less that our brains don’t want us to stop sometimes. My body is literally chanting for a break, like a prayer, constant and hopeful. And who am I to not comply? It took me years to understand my body as my home, to respect it and its wishes, and to hell whoever says our emotions aren’t as much in charge as our logic. This professor of mine talks an awful lot about having integrity, and I want to start having more integrity with my body, respecting its limits, listening to it, being gently and nice and kinder. I hate how these messages are always taught to be executed within a group or to be communicated along a society. Why aren’t we taught to have integrity with ourselves? It is like we are constantly diminishing the fact that we are the most important person in our lives and we come first – this is a fact, this is not main character syndrome. You are the single most important thing in your life and you come first!!! Have integrity with yourself, and with everyone else, but with yourself first!

You know what? Being mediocre should be praised, I will begin campaigning for it right now “You woke up today to do your best, and if your best is mediocre, that is phenomenal!” And to fucking hell whoever tells you otherwise.

Beloved readers, I hope this was a wise post on mediocracy and integrity, I hope we all take a good break this weekend to just recharge, and if on Monday you still feel like mediocre is the best you can give, then good fucking job, you go you!!! Until next week, for another mediocre post with your favorite girl. Stay safe and out of trouble, but if you don’t – oh my god, tell me all about it.

– Your Girl on the Go