Dear beloved readers,

I am writing to you guys from the same place but today, with a different coffee order. You see, I am a woman of habits, and I don’t like breaking them, but today is particularly cold here at the East Coast of the United States, it has also been a rather bitter week…And today was my free coffee day at Starbucks, so a boiling hot Salted Caramel Mocha it is…

The week was bittersweet if I am being completely honest with you. There was so many highs but also, quite a few lows that I am still having to deal with. But I want to write about the highs, I think, no, I know I’ve spent most of my life focusing on the lows but the highs are just as valid and deserve to be written about just as much. Britney Spears is playing softly here at Barnes & Noble, and if this is a sign from the gods, I will take it to proceed writing about the good in life. So, I’ve never really been a shy person, or an introverted, at all. I love talking, I am a very communicative person, and I love getting to know people. I was so excited to move here, to start grad school, because I thought what better way to make new friends after spending the whole year inside?

Yeah…After the roommates fiasco, I was discouraged to at least try, and if I am being honest, I made my mind pretty fast that the cultural differences between me and people here, were a deal breaker that would not be solved anytime soon. But I had to like some Americans, right? Aside from my boyfriend, that task was proving to be harder than I anticipated. The people from my classes all seemed to know each other from before which made me to feel left out.

God, is there a worst feeling than feeling left out? Than feeling like you don’t belong somewhere you fought to get to your whole life? Probably not, so when I encountered this familiar yet unwanted feeling, I really hated life here for a good while. I counted the seconds to see my boyfriend every week because that meant someone who actually likes me would be near me, and I was…feeling different. I was being, all the sudden, a quiet person, speaking low, not imposing my ideas, not wanting to participate in my classes, overall, I felt like i wasn’t myself, and I didn’t even like this new version, at all.

The weeks went by and some strange faces became familiar, and between elevator talks about the weather and amazing coincidences here and there, I started to feel included, and I started to feel more comfortable, and I started making friends. I am not going to lie, they are not like the friends from back home, they are not yet at the stage for 3am tears at the balcony, for sleepovers, for brunches at Sunday that lasted the whole afternoon. I hope they will someday become that, I hope our cultural differences will be a beautiful mix of cultures that make sense when blended and we will all bring different things to the table, and we will all be grateful for them.

On Thursday, for one of my classes, we had to throw an event promoting this  university literary magazine we all work for, and I was so excited to do that because I a) love a good party, and b) love a good literary event. I invited every single one of my other classmates to attend, all my professors, all of my acquaintances, everyone I knew. And when I got there and a lot of people showed up, my heart felt warm and I felt like I belonged. I spent hours talking and laughing and socializing, and it was an absolute blast to see everyone there.

There’s no special recipe to make friends, and I am afraid that goes for most things in life. You think common interests is what will make someone be your friend but if I’ve learned anything about my friendship with Tony is that it’s the complementary aspects of us that strengths the friendship. Though, I will say the hunger for a good gossip also helps the base of the friendship quite a lot. Okay yes, maybe that’s my tip, because everyone loves gossip and I feel like I’ve made multiple friends over gossip, which is perhaps a toxic trait or just not something so lovely and nice to do, but it is effective. And this is bad advice I realize, but it has been effective for me.

The art of gossiping is first of all, being smart about the gossip, know who you can tell and who will not turn it into a snowball of a fake news that could be hurtful or dangerous. Also, if you wanna gossip, keep your principles, never go lower for the sake of entertainment or be hateful in any way shape or form. Gossip is only fun when harmless, when it’s not being used to diminish, to attack, to hurt or to lie about someone.

Hold, on my favorite Panic! At The Disco song is playing and this is another sign for me to write more good things. Ah, beloved readers, the bumpy stuff that happens in life is part of the deal, it’s in the package, it’s the little can of beans along the multiple tubes of mini m&m’s in the basket. Dealing with them sucks, they are stinky, they are annoying, they can even make you gassy. But at some point you will have to, and life is mostly about reaction, and action, then reaction again. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you guys this story, because this one is rather embarrassing, but right when I started dating a few years ago, I got my eyebrows micro-bladed, which was a rollercoaster. At first I absolutely loved them, it was a gift from the heavens, I could not worry so much about doing them everyday with anything Anastasia Beverly Hills I could find, I was thrilled. But then I went for the touchup, and dear lord, that woman fucked me up. I remember calling my boyfriend after and just crying, saying I was a monster, saying I’d never leave the house again. He laughed – which at the time made me pissed off – but he asked me the one rational question my brain at that very insane stage couldn’t think of: What can you do about it? Nothing. What can someone else do about it? Well, I guess they can fix it but– So you call them tomorrow and you explain and they will fix it.

Sounds simple right? Every time I am presented now with a situation that triggers my anxiety, that makes me a little insane, that tilts my world and shakes my life and leaves me shaking alone naked in the streets, I think to myself “What can I do about it?”, and rather than stay paralyzed within my reaction and incapable of doing anything, I try to find a way to react, I try to find an answer and I try to not let the irrational part of me to freak out, to take deep breaths and solve whatever it is that needs solving. It’s not always easy, sometimes it fucking sucks, but I am also a firm believer of the 5 years rule: If it’s not gonna matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes worrying about it.

So, what did we learn today class? Gossip is great for making friends, reacting rationally is important, and I love literary events? Yep, I guess that was it, you are welcome for the entertainment of yet another senseless post that I just had the most pleasure writing. You know what I just realized I have been forgetting to mention here? It’s October!!!! Halloween is around the corner, so I hope you are all staying out of spooky trouble, but if you don’t – oh my god, tell me all about it.

– Your Girl on the Go