Dear beloved readers,

I had this awesome idea in my head of coming here today and pouring to you guys a compilation of examples to why my savior complex is slowly but surely ending my life – trust me, I can ramble about that until y’all scream at my face something along the lines of “WE FUCKING GET IT! YOU NEED HELP!”. But, unfortunately, something came up…

I think I’ve mentioned my very twisted family at least a dozen times in here, mentioned my daddy issues and all. But somehow life keep trying to drive me insane and shove me into situations with my family that are as unavoidable as they can be. This one, for instance, involves the whole goddamn family, and I mean it, every single one of them, in a cruise, for four dreadful days in which I won’t have a choice other than jumping in the wild sea and dying. Whoa, sorry…This got dark really fast. 

I was aware about this cruise for a good ten months now, the thing is I wasn’t sure I would be able to attend because newsflash, even though I don’t live with my parents anymore, have my own life in a different city, and my responsibilities as an adult, no one gives a fuck! So they scheduled this very expensive cruise without consulting me which, again, made me super mad because I was not about to miss college because of this crazy family and their crazy money spending habits. Lucky for them, I finished college before I was expecting too, which as great as it was, made me almost want to fail every final I did just so I wouldn’t have to go in this cruise.

But, it is what it is, and not tomorrow, not three days from now, but today, I am leaving with my whole family for the longest weekend of my life. And yes, the only thing that keeps me going at this point is the fact that it’s gonna be all paid and an open bar kinda cruise. So I full on plan on blacking out for the whole weekend, not throwing myself in the sea, ‘cause c’mon someone gotta be alive to tell the story of how my family couldn’t handle one another which led to a mass murder…I am kidding, sorta.

Save to say I am, first of all not excited at all, I just got back to my hometown and back to living with my parents and I am already nearly killing myself with my mother’s freaking high heels and the bitch’s need to walk around the house in them from 8am to 11pm, second of all because I tend to get ridiculously dizzy in cruises and because I will not be able to give you guys a proper update this week since I am due to live in thirty minutes and yesterday I was too busy and too exhausted from packing to even consider writing anything for you guys.

So for now, I will apologize for not posting anything proper this week and for this one being so incredibly short but sometimes little things like family and vacations and my suicidal tendencies get in the way and we just have to deal with it. With that being said, I promise I much better post next week about something way more interesting than my awful family and a stupid cruise. Besides, who knows, maybe there will be a murder and the next time you hear from me I will have become the next Agatha Christie, with my bestselling book “Murder on the Luxurious Cruise that I didn’t want to go in the very first place”.

Pray for my soul so I don’t end up becoming the murderer and for me to get so drunk I start using Harry Potter spells to do stuff…Trust me, you won’t want to know how many times I tried to scream “ALOHOMORA!” to a door, while drunk, and actually thought it would open…Yeah, just pray for my soul and hopefully I will be back next week with a proper update, way happier than I am right now, and maybe, maybe a little tanner, though I am not getting my hopes up regarding that. Please stay out of trouble, but since I will be stuck in the middle of the sea with probably no WiFi for four days and I won’t be able to get into any trouble at all, you guys should get into some for me, just please, tell me all about it.