Dear beloved readers,

This week I am one day late over here for a very good reason. I did explain myself on twitter though and since you all agreed, I thought it would be better to write this one today. This time, the reason behind my lateness is luckily not another mental breakdown – seriously, thank you all so much for dealing with me when I am going through finals lol – but for a rather different, and quite amusing reason.

But before I start the story of my crazy Friday night, let’s go back to Wednesday night. Before anything, Wednesday was the day I was looking forward the most this past week, even though my grades weren’t posted yet, because my teachers happen to hate me and want to trigger my anxiety like that, but it was indeed my first day without finals, I just had to worry about a quick presentation on Friday but lucky me, my group and I thought the presentation was on Monday not on Friday so everything was ready a week before. So Wednesday was the day I patiently waited to come for like weeks, because I knew that if I survived my finals, it would mean I would’ve made it. And Wednesday night was even more exciting because, well, let’s just say Tony and I had a party in a different city to attend Thursday night, so the whole literally doing a roadtrip to go to a different city to go get drunk and have fun just so the next morning we needed to head back to our home so we could do our final presentation, made me feel so cool about myself, like I was indeed you know living my best college life. It was around 2am on Thursday, since I couldn’t sleep because I was hella anxious and I was just lurking through twitter and instagram, same old, same old, until a very unknown number texted me.

I know what you are thinking, we shouldn’t ever reply to strangers, but this stranger happened to have matched with me on Tinder months ago, when I was still using that shithole of an app and he was back around here and not touring with his band. I know, pretty stupid of me for getting all interested as soon as he mentioned a goddamn band and a tour, but I am only human and I also have my weakness and when it comes to men, my weakness is bands and tattoos, and he happened to have both so like!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, we texted for a bit which was super you know fun and random and he really wanted to see me. I wanted to schedule something but it all truly depended on how my mood would be with all those finals being graded, so I said I would keep in touch and see if we could schedule something for the weekend, knowing I would probably not even be around during it.

Let’s set this aside for a quick minute. Thursday started with me anxiously pacing around all my house because there was this lady I hired to clean it but truly I didn’t want to but my friends who also live in my building kinda forced me cause she needed the money, and that was triggering my OCD like a motherfucker and I literally had to leave my house cause I couldn’t stand her being there, safe to say she won’t be coming back…So I left my house, went to my college’s Starbucks, ordered the largest coffee they had, and waited for my good ol’ Tony to show up so we could go talk to our teacher for a quick second and then get the road so we could get ready for the party. After three different subway rides, a long ass bus ride that was freezing cold, walking around my hometown, going to the beach to drink fresh coconut water and then being literally teared apart by the craziest rain me and my styled lil hair had to face in my life, we were back in my parent’s apartment, showered and getting ready for the party, and between songs older than probably a half of you beloved readers, and some good old confidence rising, and that happens whenever Tony and I get ready for a party, we were taking all the selfies we needed and heading to the party.

As soon as we stepped in there we headed straight to the bar to get delicious cocktails that later on would be replaced my one glass of champagne that was endlessly refilled all night. We ate, we danced, our gaydar was stronger than ever, we spent what felt like ten hours in front of one mirror just checking ourselves out, we planned to get a nipple piercing and we asked people about this whole nipple piercing decision and I very drunkly texted the guy again. Here’s the tea my friends, I left Tinder because I needed a break from fuckboys and from men in general, after my last failed relationship I really wanted a break, rather needed one really, and I thought it would be the best option to leave the app and I have zero regrets over this choice. But when he texted me on Wednesday, I thought – and of course I fucking thought that – that it was like the universe showing me that it’s not because I literally put all men on timeout because one hurt me very badly that they all deserve to be on timeout. Better yet, it was the universe telling me that I should give this one a chance, for one very casual night. Which my drunk little self thought it would mean I would have to flirt with him all night during texts, which was a huge, ver misspelled success and just wait and see.

On Friday we woke u at 6am, with a hell of a champagne hangover and no nipple piercings, and we needed to hurry back so we could be on time to present our last project. Between Tony and I being hella exhausted and very fucking dizzy from drinking too much and needing to get in the road, safe to say the only thing that made me want to die a little less that morning was the fact that I had the amazing news that I passed this one final that I really needed to pass, so after that and a nap and presenting the last thing we needed, I just came home ready to pass the fuck out at like 7pm, but that wasn’t possible because I had a date, with a guy in a band, so my whole sleep deprivation had to wait a little bit more.

One fan fact about me is that I’ve been living by myself for a good two years now but I’ve never brought a guy over here until yesterday. Maybe I never brought anyone here because it’s too small and personal, or maybe because I don’t really fuck with casual sex so really, going out, having drinks or coffee, or whatever else the date may be, talking and kissing is all I generally do. But, and don’t ask me why, my drunk self invited him to come over the night before and he, of course accepted my invitation, so we had some cheap wine, talked for hours and turns out he was a super cool dude, which an amazing voice, which my soprano self appreciates, and we had a lot in common, Harry Potter being one of those things, and after hours of talking and getting to know each other and even me coming up with a good stage name for him, two things were clear in my very drunk head: The first one, I probably would never see him again, he was fun and cute but aside from being in a band he wasn’t that much of my type and he lived too har away and I am certainly not fucking with that again and if anything we would remain good friends; And the second one was that this dude wanted me like I was a glass of cool water on that first scolding hot summer day, and even though I am not very familiar with casual sex, wasn’t even ready to have casual sex nor was I sure if I wanted casual sex, after we kissed, and oh boy did we fucking kiss, my brain screamed a loud ass “FUCK IT!” told me to live a little and to celebrate me finishing the semester with some good causal adventure, because trust me, it had been a while…

I am not going to get that much in the details to what happened between he, me and my couch, but I will say this, My aversion towards casual sex was never about women doing it and that making them less for it, if you know me and my brand you know I am not about slutshaming anyone, quite the opposite, in fact casual sex is something rather fascinating to me but that every intimidated the hell of me in every shape and size because I am still that little girl who wants to mean something and for everything to be special and nice and yea. But when I tell you that it was fucking fantastic to lose control with a total stranger in the wild hours of the night in my house and then casually kicking him out, I am not lying one bit, it did feel amazing and hot and it got me wondering, just oh my god why took me so long to try it?

So this week, I don’t come here with any advices or pro tips, I come here more relaxed than I’ve been in weeks and happier than I’ve been in months because the truth is, I am hella proud of myself for trying something new and something I was always curious for and for actually enjoying it. So, since this one is already fucking huge, I leave this one without having to do a walk of shame in here because really I don’t feel ashamed at all and also because you all cannot see the hickeys I currently have decorating my neck, but I wish you all the best and for you guys to stay out of trouble, but maybe, since a little trouble can be fun from time to time, go ahead and do it, just tell me all about it.