Dear beloved readers,
I had a week full of introspective thinking and well, work. I wrote a lot, and I made a lot of progress with my project, my essay collection. And I remained true to what I told you about last week, of not being apologetic of who I am, or rather, who I was when I was younger. My current dilemma is, what stories to tell?
Obviously my teenage years is filled with stories that are entertaining and that have very much impacted me, but maybe not this me from now, but isn’t the me from now an aftermath of the ‘me’s from before? I know the answer is yes, but is it? Everything happens for a reason but sometimes, things just happen because…they happened. Their contribution to my story is existent but is it impactful?
I don’t know…I’ve been dwelling about moments of significance and, most importantly, moments that create good stories to write and tell. For instance, I just had an extremely friendly chat with this older couple Grace and Bob, and I feel like this was more important to me me than some of my adolescent mischief…
What I’ve been realizing lately is that, there are stories that are worth essays and stories that are worth blog posts. And one is not better than the other, they each have their value and their vibe. For instance, ever since I was like a pre-teen, a tween, I never would leave my house without makeup. You are safe to assume that back then, the makeup was atrocious. Blue eyeliner in my waterline, black gunky mascara on my lashes, cakey foundation, you know the look.
My makeup skills evolved during the years, thank god for beautubers, and I got more and more into it. I was the girl waking up at the unholy hours just so I could do my makeup before class, and I would not, for the life of me, ever dream of leaving the house without makeup on. I even recall one day I missed my alarm, and didn’t go to class altogether because I wouldn’t have time to do my makeup.
I was basically a slave to my maked-up face and I was embarrassed of what I looked like without it. I think it had to be quarantine that changed that about me. I now only basically wear makeup when I have to. Meaning, I am out with a bare face in this second and…it feels awesome. Like life changing?! I feel so comfortable in my own skin, I feel pretty and my skin is healthy – and even when my skin is awful, I am still proudly owning my acne and whatever else.
And then there are the stories that are essays, and to me they simply are different because they take place on a bigger timeline. I wrote an essay for my collection about dieting, and it’s such a long, traumatic journey for me that I, for being who I am, had to carefully write chronologically, that it ended up being very long and detailed and about various points in life. As much as I love writing both types, there’s something awfully intimate about the blog posts, they are more immediate, less polished, and if it comes to me, often times very rambly, but they also give you almost an instantaneous scoop – the good, the bad, and the juicy.
Plus, there are some stories that are TMI, and therefore, not meant for everyone’s eyes to read, or for my name to be attributed to it. Anyway…My week has been a lot of working on the collection, and besides yesterday that I allowed myself to watch the classic Legally Blonde, not a lot happened. And that’s again, why I love the blog, sometimes I can just ramble for a page an a half and it doesn’t even need to make that much sense. But it always, without a doubt, keeps me sane.
I hope you guys have a good weekend, stay safe and out of trouble but if you don’t – oh my god, tell me all about it.
– Your Girl On The Go