Dear beloved troublemakers,
Well this is officially the first post ever to the ‘Getting In Trouble’ column! If you are not aware of what this column is about, pretty much me and my bestie – which I really should come up with a pen name for – try to at least once a month go to a different bar to have fun, occasionally get in trouble but mostly with research purposes. Here is the thing, we are trying to become the crème de la crème in menknowledge and in order to do that we decided to study men and how they behave in certain places etc etc. We are still figuring out what to do with the information we have been gathering but, until then I decided to start this column so I can share with you guys another side of our bar hunts, the fun and most likely troubled side, which I know y’all live for.
So for starters, a Pro Tip: when googling about which place to go, make sure once you choose the place that you check what time it opens. I know it sounds hella dumb, and to be honest my bestie and I really are the ones to blame but we accidentally forgot to check the time it opened so we showed up like, two hours earlier….Yeah. Not a problem though, we waited at this little restaurant they had downstairs and did our solo pre-party which included a cosmopolitan and a gin tonic which we will never complain about ever, and as always just laughed and talked and had a blast. Truth be told, regardless if we were stuck at this random restaurant looking for cute guys at every corner or so while sipping our expensive drinks, or if we were in the actual bar that turned out to be a kind of a club, dancing while drinking stronger and perhaps even more expensive drinks, or if we were at where our after party ended up being, which was proudly at McDonald’s eating crappy food at 3am and trying to sober up, we were just pretty excited about rocking the hell outta our new boots. The truth is, our favorite part of this whole academic research is to dress up for us and to go out, drink a bunch of colorful drinks in expensive cups and pretend we have our shit together and of course take a gazillion selfies and just laugh out loud all night long. And that’s the best thing about this, we may not always get in trouble, and I may not always have something worth sharing with you guys, maybe because nothing juicy happened, or maybe because nothing at all happened, but in the end of every single time we hang out together we make at least a billion new memories that will be worth sharing someday, until then, keep reading this one because I am not yet finished.
So, Pro Tip number 2: make sure you know what kind of place you will end up at. Well, we accidentally ended up at a club that was clearly mostly LGBTQ+, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, if you go to a LGBTQ+ club or bar or whatever, you will likely have more fun and drink the sweetest drinks and be able to dance without worrying about guys being assholes, but in the end of the day we were still looking for material to write about and we needed straight guys for that so there’s that. Though we may not have gathered, perhaps any material at all for anything, we did had a great time. I danced which is something I absolutely, never ever do, I drank this watermelon martini and holy shit if it wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever tasted and I laughed for hours and I didn’t even notice the stinging pain on my feet from dancing or even just wearing high heels boots for hours. And even if we did get there way too early, and the place was not what we were expecting it to be, because for starters we were looking for a bar bar not a club bar, if you know what I mean? We just wanted a low key kinda place not Ariana Grande is blasting all night kinda place, but then again no one is complaining. Regardless all of that we still had the best time and it was an iconic night, and like every iconic night it deserves an iconic end.
Which leads us to our after-party…It was around 1:30am when our feet had the best of us, and we were starving and honestly too drunk to have empty stomachs and we were already in peace that we weren’t getting any men that night, we decided to finish in the best note, at McDonald’s in our high heel boots, fancy dresses and a lot of liquor on our veins, and between large fries and bug burgers and long talks that I absolutely have no idea what those were about, I got home, removed my makeup – because even if I am in an alcoholic coma I will remember to remove my makeup –, and I could only laugh at how amazing my night was. Straight men or not, hella painful feet or not, in trouble or not.
Luckily we will have another adventure with educational purposes sooner than later and luckily I will have actual trouble to tell you all about. Until then, follow the pro tips and get out there even if it means getting in a little trouble, as long as you don’t forget to tell me all about it.
– Your Girl on the Go